Five Ideas for Helping Your Kids Be More Organized (Even If You Are Not)

Unless you grew up under the watchful eye of Captain von Trapp, the whistle-blowing patriarch of “Sound of Music” fame, organization might not come naturally. But it does have its place, and even if you haven’t been particularly organized yourself, it’s not too late.

If you’ve been organizationally challenged up until now, sit with your child and talk to him or her honestly about your own struggles with organization. Talk to him or her about solutions they think might work for both of you. You may be surprised by their own creative solutions, and they may be more likely to buy into a family plan if you’ve asked them for their thoughts.

With that, here are five places to consider starting:

1. Slow Down to Speed Up. Each Activity has a Beginning, Middle and End.Most of us are pretty good at the beginning and middle parts of an activity. Take, as an example, playing with toys. We’re all pretty good at getting them out (the beginning) and playing with them (the middle), but putting them away is often the trouble spot (the end).

Encouraging our kids to finish an activity by putting their toys or work away before moving on to the next thing will likely reduce the stress level, not to mention the mountain of toys, at the end of the day. It won’t happen overnight, so hang in there. But it does make a difference. Try a quick check at five minutes to the hour each hour, when everyone stops to see if all the activities they’ve ended during the hour are truly ended, i.e. been put away.

2. Everything Has a Place to Live. Sometimes we all get moving so quickly it ends up bogging us down. Lost keys are the perfect example. If we toss everything onto the kitchen counter as we walk in the door, those keys are more likely to get buried out of sight. But if we slow down enough to hang them up in the same place every time we enter the house, we will save ourselves from having to search for them when they’re lost.The same is true for the kids’ shoes, backpacks, homework, lunch boxes, sports equipment, oh, and cellphones.

Providing specific spots to place these things will help keep the house and your kids organized. And the closer that spot is to the door, the less chance there will be for things to get dropped like so many leaves from a deciduous tree.

3. Introduce Calendars, Schedules, and Lists. Refer to Them Often. Kids like structure and often feel more calm and relaxed with a little bit of structure in their lives. Kids’ lives are jammed with new and surprising things, so knowing what to expect can be a welcome relief. Calendars are great for a general overview of what everyone in the family is doing. Daily schedules are great for making sure no homework is forgotten. Lists are great for individual tasks like the bedtime routine:

1. Place dirty clothes in the hamper

2. Hang or fold clean clothes and put away

3. Put on pajamas

4. Go to the bathroom

5. Wash hands

6. Brush teeth

7. Read

8. Pray

9. Kiss goodnight and turn out the light

4. Counting Backward To Be on Time. An important skill for kids to learn is how to count backward in time in order to be on time.

Consider this example: We need to be at school at 8:30 a.m. It takes 10 minutes to get in the car and drive there (8:20 a.m.). But you need a margin for error of 20 percent. Unpredictable things can happen like traffic, a horse in the road, that sort of thing, so that’s two minutes more (8:18 a.m.). You need five minutes to make your lunch (8:13 a.m.). You need five minutes to brush your teeth and put your shoes on (8:08 a.m.), and so on.

So if you haven’t started all this by 8:08 a.m., you’re already late! You will be amazed at how eye-opening this exercise can be for kids.

5. Be Supportive. Imagine and Discuss the Benefits of Organization Together.Chances are you weren’t born naturally organized and neither were your kids, so the goal is progress, not perfection. Discuss with your kids your own problem areas. Point out how an organized life means less busy, repetitive work overall, less frustration from looking for misplaced things, more tranquility in the home and more free time to do what you want.

What tips do you have to keep your family organized, and what organizational struggles do you face?

-Silvia M

5 Tips To Create The (Near) Perfect Homework Environment

The mind of a child is like a sponge. Children absorb what is around them. Sometimes this is good, and sometimes this is not so good. When children are learning and taking in everything around them, it is understandable that they need to have a near-perfect environment to have an optimal learning experience.

I use the phrase near-perfect environment because what may be the perfect environment for one child may not be the perfect environment for another child. We are all different people with different personalities and different learning styles. The following suggestions may be used in part or in whole. I’ve found these tips to be helpful in creating the near-perfect homework environment.

• Create the atmosphere – Having a child who is very easily distracted has made us realize the importance of having an optimal homework environment. Our daughter has her own special homework space. It is a simple, well-lit area with no distractions. When she puts her head down to work, she is more inclined to “get in the zone.” There is no noise, no toys and no activities around her, which often translates into no homework problems.

• Allow for space/breaks – When my daughter gets off the bus, she is DONE. She needs a break.  And why not? She has just completed a half-hour bus ride home and has had to stay focused all day at school. Our routine is to allow her to rest before she does anything. If she is rested, she is more inclined to stay focused and more likely to enjoy her homework. A rested brain means the brain is ready to work and is in “absorption” mode, not recovery-and-spent mode.

• Make sure the child is well fed – Food is something we all need. Having a child who is well fed will help the child work better. The human body simply cannot function properly without proper nutrition. Healthy meals and snacks help a child’s learning go a long way.

• Be organized – Being well organized is a sure way to have your child succeed in his or her studies. Have a homework caddy easily accessible so when the child is ready to start working, everything is ready to go, and there is no need to search for anything, which may cause a child to become distracted.

• Be available – Children may not want an adult right next to them while they are working, but it is important for them to know that you are available if they need you. Using phrases like, “It looks like you have worked really hard on that sentence” instead of empty praise such as, “You are the best at writing sentences” will help them realize their work is important.

These are just a few tips to help you create the near-perfect homework environment for your child. Start with these tips, and then observe doing his or her homework. You may also want to spark up a casual conversation with your child about what he or she does and doesn’t like about homework. Based on the answers, try to accommodate, and make homework something your child enjoys. How do you keep your child focused on doing homework?

- Jody A

How to Teach Sequencing Skills at Home

Parents know that every waking moment for a child is a moment to teach them something new or help them develop a skill. But who knew you could easily incorporate a sequencing lesson during that bedtime story, cooking those Sunday morning pancakes or doing those weekly chores?

Sequencing — putting events, ideas, objects, places and even people in logical order — is an essential skill for children to learn. We all organize our busy daily lives with sequencing and understand our roles and places in groups through sequencing. Sequencing seems simple, but it’s one of those “higher-order thinking skills,” as we teachers say. Learners use sequencing as they apply steps to solve a math problem;it’s also necessary for reading comprehension and required for good writing.

Here are a few ideas you can try at home to help your kids understand sequencing.

1. Fiction sequencing. It’s helpful when reading to youngsters to stop occasionally — careful not to overdo it — and talk for a few moments about what you’ve read. Pretend you’re not too bright and ask questions. “I forget. What happened before Cinderella went to the ball? Afterward?”

2. Nonfiction sequencing. This is especially important for subjects like history. There’s more brain power involved in knowing the chronological order of the presidents than you’d think.Sequencing helps kids put history in context.

3. Kitchen sequencing. Recipes are nothing more than sequencing steps, although it’s especially nice that they result in something yummy. Read a recipe together, and then ask your kids to help you create something tasty. “What should we do next?”

4. Chores sequencing. When you’re washing the car together, figure out the best order to accomplish it. Top to bottom? Wheels first? Windows? What should come first? Then what? Why?

5. Hobby sequencing. Have your kids explain how they maintain their favorite hobbies. How do they paint those landscapes? Build those model spaceships? Create those online videos? If you can understand the process, they’re doing a good job of sequencing.

6. Sports sequencing. Explaining a sport — not to mention playing it — requires sequencing skills. Ask about the rules for just about any sport, and you’ll begin a conversation that involves sequencing.

7. Family history sequencing. Ancestry is family sequencing, and family trees are the very definition of sequencing in picture form. Tell your family history, or learn it together, and draw your family’s ancestry tree. Plus, you’ll learn so many good stories as you talk to your older relatives and hear their stories.

8. Direction sequencing. Ask your kids to give you directions to their best friend’s house, how to get from their homeroom to the cafeteria in their school or where to find a hidden treasure in the back yard. (“First you go to the big fir tree. Then you take seven steps to the left. After that, you turn right and head to the swing set. Finally, look next to the left rear leg of the swings.”)

9. Homework sequencing. Together, figure out the most effective sequence of homework time. “Math can be difficult, so I’ll start with that. The book report is due next week; have I read today’s chapter? Do I have all my supplies nearby?”

10. Prediction sequencing. This can be fun when you’re discussing a book you’re reading together, a movie you’re watching or a TV series the family is following. “What’s going to happen next? Then what? Why do you think so?”

For some kids, I find it helpful to write the steps of a process on flash cards. Decorate the flash cards, shuffle them and then put them in order. No reason why sequencing can’t be fun, right?

How to Get Kids To Open Up About Their Day

All parents know that at the end of the day the last thing their children want to do is talk about their day at school. However, it’s important for parents to know what their kids are doing at school and how they feel about school. It’s also important for kids to talk about their day and share their feelings. These tips can help you get your kids to open up about their school day.

• Avoid asking “How was school today?”— If you want to start a conversation, quit asking this boring and expected question. Ask more specific questions, such as “Who did you sit with at lunch today?” These types of questions will help your children focus on one aspect of their day, rather than their day as a whole.
• Use Artwork or Schoolwork as Conversation Starters— When kids bring home their masterpieces from art class or a completed assignment, take the time to look them over and make observations about them to your child. Simple comments or questions will encourage your child to share more details with you.
• Talk About Your Day— Do you want to hear what your child’s favorite part of his or her day was? Start by talking about your day and modeling what you want to hear. After hearing your stories, your child will better be able to relate to you and share a similar story.
• Stop to Actually Listen— It’s important to actually put everything else aside to listen to your child without any distractions. Stop cleaning the dishes and sit down with your child to have a real one-on-one conversation. This time will show your children that what they are saying is important to you. When you’re not distracted, you will also be more aware of your children’s feelings and how they really feel about school, giving you the chance to extend the conversation and dialogue.
• Stay In-the-Know— Read the school newsletters and everything else your children bring home from school. Stay updated on what’s going on in their daily lives and what’s on their schedules. Being involved will help you better understand your child’s life and therefore help you stay connected to your child.

Each child is different and will respond in different ways. Learn what helps your children open up and what causes them to shut down. When does your child talk the most about his or her day, and how do you fuel the conversation?

How to Get a Early Start on the College Search

Now that I have successfully sent one child off to college, my friends tend to ask me for college prep and selection advice. Top question — how many schools did you visit, and how did you work it into their busy schedules?

I love watching their faces when I tell them, “Twenty-six schools, seriously.”I know they are thinking, “Isn’t that really overdoing it?” Look, in true mama-says-so fashion, I only do this stuff if it’s going to work out well for me.

“College search” was the single best excuse I have found so far to travel and hangout with my kids.  And because it was all about them, they totally went along with it. (Suckers!) Now, we didn’t wait to start the college visit odyssey in the 11th grade.

Over the last few years, we worked campus visits into vacations, so both of our kids could start to get a mental picture of how big schools differed from small schools. It gave me the opportunity to see what some of these schools, that I only hear about during March Madness, actually look like. We saw Stanford on a San Francisco vacation when my son was in eighth grade, the University of Arizona while we visited Phoenix, and so on. I even managed a spring break business trip in L.A. where I had both kids fly out and we hit USC and UCLA.

It wasn’t until 10th grade Christmas break when we started working in specific college visits, where we officially signed up and listened to the pitches. I made my son do all of the online pre-work to register us for every visit. It proved to be an effective way to gradually transfer his enrollment responsibility from me to him. When we went to visit my family in Dayton for the holiday, we drove from Chicago so we could hit the University of Illinois, University of Dayton, Ohio State and Vanderbilt. Seeing several schools in a short spread was interesting because we could compare the schools and start identifying what “lit” him up and what turned him off.

We also got much better at asking useful questions by listening to other families at the early campus visits.My son went from asking, “Where do you go for good pizza here?” to “Do you offer merit scholarships?” and “How important is Greek life at the university?” Practice does make perfect.

During the spring of his junior year, on long weekends, he and I would cash in my frequent flyer tickets and hit some schools that were high on his list. I also extended an NYC business trip so he could join me to tour Columbia and NYU. He didn’t end up attending either, but we have an epic memory of running the Central Park loop together.

In that critical summer between junior and senior years of high school, I planned a vacation to see multiple schools during one trip. My kids and I went to the Boston area and hit five schools and crushed the Freedom Trail. We visited old friends, learned the train system, ran the St. Charles jogging route and did Boston like crazed tourists. We threw in New Haven and Providence just to round the trip out. On another trip, we took our French exchange student with us to explore the Washington, D.C., Virginia and North Carolina schools.

Ultimately, my son sorted out that he liked schools with a defined campus, an accessible big city and a sports tradition. Oh yes, and he then sorted out the schools that offered the majors and programs that were of interest to him. In the end, he chose based on the major and a well-informed “gut feel” for the school.

Sure, there was a lot of online research that went into the college planning, but nothing — and I mean nothing — beats a good ole road trip to a campus. J Fitzgerald